hello, friend.

hello friend.

It's been a while.  Ironically, it's been 4 years.  Exactly.  To the day.  4 years.

As I type this tonight, I have a hard time remembering who I even was four years ago.

Who was I?

I was a wife.  I was not a happy wife.  I was bitter.  I was hateful.  I was full of regret.  I was overwhelmed.  My plate was full and I was giving everything in my life 10%.  Nothing, and I mean nothing got my all.  I take that back; my photography business got my all and my marriage, my family, my schoolwork, got the leftovers.  There was nothing left for myself.  I was ragged.  I was wore.  I was miserable.

I was 33 years old.  I *think I was a college student,* but then again I've been a college student for 18 years off and on, so I really could not tell you.  I had NO clue what I was going to do with my life.  My children were growing before my very eyes and I was too busy to see it happen.

I don't remember 4 years ago, but I see a lot of sadness masked by a smile.  I remember running races, which you'll see I posted a ton about was my only outlet.  I remember saying, "It's the one place that I don' t have to worry about people asking about their photos, when I'm on the road, it's just me, God and my music."  I know you're sitting there thinking, "gosh I was one that bothered her."  You are right, you probably did, but that's okay.  That's what happens when you try to run a business.

Now, allow me to flash forward.4 years.

So much has happened.  Life, has happened.  Change has happened.  Sadness has happened.  Faith has happened.  Death has happened.  The world keeps spinning amidst all of these big feelings.

I started college. AGAIN.  I finished college, FINALLY.  I became a Teacher.  I started college.  AGAIN.  Sickness happened.  Happiness happened.  My dream job happened.  At 37, I was forced to join the club of motherless daughters, with the passing of my mom.  And yet, somehow the world moves on and I keep spinning, changing, being.

I have been asked to "share my story," on a podcast next month.  I am honored, but at the same time am curious as if to anyone would even care to hear my story.  Which, got me thinking that I've missed blogging.  I've missed sharing my story, sharing my thoughts even if nobody reads it.

So, here we are.

A lifestyle blog.  Truth.  Hardships.  Laughs.  Transparent.  I am always real.  Because, isn't that how we all should be?  We are ALL train wrecks.  We are ALL crazy.  We ALL have issues.  And, if you think otherwise, you are just lying to yourself.

In the meantime, feel free to read all of my old posts when life was races and Disney magic.  I've grown up a little since then.  And, boy do I have a lot to talk about.